Join New Social Groups

One way to meet new people who may resonate well with your personality is explore new social groups. This isn’t as hard as it seems, thanks to the power of the Internet. Choose one or two of your favourite activities, then get online to check out local meet up groups or societies dedicated to your interests. You’ll have a shared interest to start, providing a soft opening for you to start building a new friendship.

Start By Sharing A Little

As you begin to form new friendships and build up a confidante type of relationship, it is important to start gradually. You don’t want to just dump your entire life story on a new acquaintance. Instead, start by sharing small confidences. Watch for reciprocal confiding to ensure that the other person is interested and willing to become a part of your inner circle. As you both share more with each other, it will be easier to share deeper secrets comfortably.

Be A Good Secret Keeper

It goes without saying that to find new confidantes you need to be a good confidante yourself. Prove that you can keep smaller secrets and confidences when you are doing the initial sharing to prove to others that you can be trusted. This helps build the kind of trust you need to be able to feel you can rely on a new friend as a go-to listener throughout the rest of your divorce.

How do we really know when someone is happy behind closed doors? We can’t know for sure and that’s why we shouldn’t jump to conclusions when we hear startling news of other people’s lives. All we really know is the value of our own relationships. In order for a marriage to last in the long run, four factors are vital.

First, the husband and wife must have mutual respect for one another. Second, there must be constant communication. Third, there must be compromise from both partners. Fourth, there must be shared core valued by both mates. This is why many people divorce, plain and simple. This may even be what led to your separation or divorce.

People often times grow apart in life. One partner may find himself changing, while the other partner stays the same (or vice versa). Husbands and wives want familiarity, compatibility and empathy. If two mates are heading in different directions in life, then that new lack of compatibility will be felt.

If you are going through separation or divorce, try not to think of the situation in terms of failure or fault. Think practically about your situation and determine whether you and your mate have a marriage worth keeping. Not a respectable relationship—a close marriage. Why else are you married if you are not compatible with one another?

Quite often, men suffer greater loss due to divorce than woman.  Not only are there financial setbacks, men are dealt emotional blows as well.  Woman often maintain the home, keep the children, and continue some semblance of normalcy. On the other hand, men are uprooted from homes, separated from children, and literally left alone.

Emotional pain that men feel from divorce is real, but men express grief in different ways.  Some throw themselves into careers, alcohol, extreme sports, or bar hopping and woman. Others become depressed, withdrawn, and have difficulty at work; neither response is healthy nor necessary.

Men feel powerless and helpless when facing divorce; however, there are ways for men to feel in control and less helpless.  Emotional loss will resolve itself with time, immediate financial needs and domestic comfort can be addressed immediately.

• Insure personal comfort.  When leaving your home, take items necessary for housekeeping: sheets, towels, kitchen supplies, spare furniture, electronics, and any other personal affects.  Inventory anything you remove from the house for later court dates.

• Acquire a safe deposit box.  Gather important documents and put them in a safe deposit box.  While you are not trying to hide anything from your wife, you need to protect your personal interests when possible.

• Cancel joint accounts.  Continue to be fiscally responsible for your share of the expenses; however, you don’t need the additional burden of spending sprees, the embarrassment of overdrafts and credit cards being declined.  Be fair and let your wife know, in advance, of changes.

• Do not cancel medical insurance.  Until the court rules on your divorce and terms, you are still responsible for your wife and children.

• Inventory the house.  Using a digital or video camera, record everything in the house.  If anything goes missing, you have documentation.

• Maintain records of ALL communication between you and your wife.  It may prove useful in court.

• Be responsible.  A judge will have more respect if you continue to meet the needs of your children.
• See your children.  Soon to be ex-wives can use children as weapons; they find ways to monopolize time and re-arrange schedules to their advantage.  A separation agreement should be in place so there is no question about time spent with your kids.

• Get help.  Prior to making any huge decisions, secure a good lawyer.  He or she will advise you along the way and look out for your personal interests. Also, find someone you can talk to.  Even men need someone they can verbalize the wide range of emotions associated with divorce.

Separation and divorce is never anyone’s first choice; however, it is a reality.  Take steps to secure your personal comfort, your financial future, and surround yourself with supportive family and friends.