In the complex world of dating, understanding how to interpret the signals that potential partners send our way is an essential skill. Sometimes what looks like a red flag might just be a green one in disguise, and vice versa. It’s important to see the difference between both because we can quickly judge, make assumptions or even blame potential partners without even knowing them. Chantal Landreville, Certified Love & Relationship Coach and author of Raise Your Love Signal: A Guide to Attracting and Keeping the Love of Your Life shares some concrete ways to help you recognize the dating flags to help you uncover what’s really happening underneath the surface.
Green Flags Often Mistaken for Red Flags:
Wanting to take it slow:
This can be seen as disinterest but in truth, it shows someone with emotional maturity. They see the value in taking their time to not rush things for genuine connection to unfold.
Changing after a past relationship:
Sometimes the best way to grow and evolve is to learn from mistakes through past relationships. It signifies self-awareness and growth. It’s also a great way to get clarity on what really matters to be in a healthy relationship.
Someone who speaks up for what they want:
Assertiveness is about being clear, not aggressive. Expressing needs and boundaries clearly is a sign of effective communication and emotional intelligence – essential qualities for a thriving relationship.
Valuing independence:
This might seem like a fear of commitment, but it actually shows a strong sense of self – and is a sign of someone who don’t lose themselves in the relationship. With that being said, it’s important that a person clearly expresses the importance of individual freedom while affirming commitment to the relationship. It’s all about the striking the perfect balance.
Photo provided by Easton Creative Communications
Red Flags Hiding Behind Green Flags:
Adapting excessively a partner’s likes & preferences:
Don’t get me wrong, taking into consideration what a partner likes is sweet, but if it reaches a point where someone is constantly putting their own preferences on the back burner, this becomes unhealthy.
A constant need for communication:
Staying in the loop through communication is vital in a solid relationship. However, having an incessant need for constant communication might signal deeper issues like codependency or insecurity. A balance that allows for healthy independence and connection is key.
Having major differences in values and goals:
Having some differences can bring variety and excitement. However, in the long run, differences in values and goals sets the stage for potential conflicts and major disparities in fundamental aspects once the honeymoon phase vibes fade away. Aligning on core values is crucial for a sustainable and harmonious long-term relationship.
Being easygoing:
Being easygoing is often seen as a cool and desirable trait. But truth is, someone who is too easygoing might be masking a lack of authenticity and a fear of dealing with any potential conflicts head-on. Authentic communication and the ability to navigate conflicts openly are essential for a truly healthy relationship.
Mastering the art of interpreting these signals can empower you to develop connections based on genuine understanding and compatibility. As you step into the dating scene, remember that the strongest, long-lasting connections tend to come in ways you might not expect right away.
Photo provided by Easton Creative Communications
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Chantal Landreville is a Canadian certified love and relationship with over two decades of experience in personal growth and human connection. Her mission is to help individuals discover the path to authentic and lasting love and is dedicated to empowering her readers with the knowledge and tools needed to create healthy, fulfilling relationships. Chantal’s work is renowned for its emphasis on personal development, self-acceptance, and effective communication. She is an advocate for love as a transformative force in people’s lives.
